I almost called this podcast, “How to Connect With Your Audience and Promote Your Services Without Being Salesy. “And then I thought to myself, you know what, I'm not going to do that. Because to be quite honest with you, I think maybe there are some of us out there who need to be more salesy. Now, let me clarify what I mean by that. If you are in business, sales is a part of what you do. You have to bring revenue in, in order to sustain your business, pay yourself a salary, and pay the people who work for you. Sales is the lifeblood of any business. It's how revenue comes in. And so I think some of us approach sales as if it's something we shouldn't do or something that feels awkward or wrong, and what I want to do is look at how we can approach sales from a place of integrity, from a place of alignment with our values and a place that ultimately serves the buyers or the clients, the people we are selling to.  So it's with that in mind that I want to embrace the word salesy, but what I want to avoid is being sleazy. And I think maybe that's what some of us think of when we hear the word salesy. We think of being really sleazy, we think of being just taken advantage of. And so I want to talk about how we can be salesy in a way that feels good and doesn't feel sleazy. Sleazy promotion is focused almost exclusively on the seller or on the business person. That person is going to get their needs met no matter what and their need is to get you to buy what they're selling. And so they can be really aggressive, they can use tactics that just don't feel good, and so there's little genuine connection with the client, because that's not where their priority is. Their priority is on getting what they need, which is money in their bank account and goods or services sold. That doesn't feel good. As a potential client, we feel targeted, we feel manipulated, we feel used and we're left just with a really bad taste in our mouths about that sales experience. And I actually want you to pause for a moment and I want you to think of a time where you've been on the receiving end of this tactic. So I want you to think about the circumstances: what happened? How did the business person or the seller approach you? What thoughts or feelings did they try to invoke in you in order to get you to buy? And then how did that entire experience make you feel? I just want you to kind of bring that into your consciousness right now and remember just how awful it felt when someone was selling to you in this manner. It doesn't feel good. It didn't motivate you to want to buy, I'm willing to bet. I know the times where I've been on the receiving end of that. I haven't appreciated it at all. It happens in the real world, and I will say, I do think people who sell cars get a really bad rap. We talk a lot about the used car salesman who's pushing their cars on people, like, you know, not every car salesman will do that. But I will say, I had an experience where I was in my early 20s and I wanted to buy a car, and it was just the most aggressive, salesy, well see, there I go, I use that word again. But it was just so aggressive. And it was clear that this guy had a quota he needed to meet, he saw me as an easy mark and he was going to get my sale. And he used every pressure tactic in the book to do so. And it was just awful. And I didn't buy from him. He made me feel so manipulated and gross that there was no way I was going to buy a car from him. That's why I think when we're talking about salesy, what we really mean is when we're using those high-pressure tactics, and when the spotlight stays focused on the seller. And as coaches and therapists, I know that that's not the approach that you want to take. You want to take an approach that feels good, where you as the coach and your client walk away feeling really good about the interaction, and that's what I want to talk about today. And this is the key thing: if your audience feels really good about the sales experience, then they're going to want to buy from you. So we want to keep that at the heart of what we're doing. So how do we do this?

Well, first and foremost, before we even approach a client, there are a few things we need to do. Number one is to connect with our values. We need to make sure we are crystal clear about our business values, and our personal values too (oftentimes, they overlap), certainly, in this case, our business values. And we want to anchor every action we take in those business values. So as most of you know, my core business values are service, connection, presence, and love. Anytime I take an action in my business, I'm asking myself, “How does this action align with my business values?” Whether it's a Facebook Live or a podcast recording, whether it is pitching a service that I have, I want to make sure that I'm doing so in an aligned way where service, connection, presence, and love are at the heart of what I'm doing. So that's the first step, I'm going to ask you to take. Connect with your values and make sure that what you are offering to your clients is very much connected with those values. Then, make sure that the product or service that you are offering them is something that you can stand behind 100%. Whether it is one-on-one coaching or group coaching program, whether you have a course or a book, whatever it is that you are making available to the world for purchase, I want you to make sure that you believe in it 100%. It is far easier to sell something that we believe in, that we know has value and that we know will serve the people we most want to help. So before we even get out there and we start pitching ourselves, we need to make sure that we have a product or a service that we can stand behind 100%. And that we know once we get it into the hands of our people, it is going to improve their lives. Again, if we know that what we're offering has benefit, then why wouldn't we offer it to our people? Why wouldn't we want to put it out there? I know that my coaching services and my membership and all of my programs have value. They help people grow their coaching practices and become stronger, more powerful coaches. Why wouldn't I share that with them? It's something they need, it’s something they want, and I have it to give them. And so when I know that when I can anchor in the fact that “Yes, this is a good product, it's aligned with my values of service and connection and presence and love,” then I can get out there and talk about it naturally and make it available from a place of ease, and it becomes more like an invitation to work with me or to connect with me and not that pushy, forceful, “Buy my product! Buy it now!” strategy. Again, that doesn't feel good.

So, first, I want you to anchor in your values. Second, I want to make sure that you have a product or service that you can stand behind 100% because you know, it has so much value for your people. Once you're sure about those two things, then it's time to start making connections with potential clients who would benefit from your service, from your coaching, or your product, whether it's a book or a course or a program, whatever it is, everything we're about to talk about applies. I strongly recommend that you approach the relationship with your potential client just as you would any other relationship in your life. Because that's the other thing here. Sales is about relationships. We are building relationships with people that we are going to work with or work for or serve in some capacity, and this is a very valuable relationship on both ends. And so it deserves to be cultivated in much the same way we would cultivate a friendship, or a relationship with a family member or with a partner or with a child. When we keep the relationship at the core, then we can show up and serve and provide our offer as an extension of serving. So let's talk about how you would build this relationship over time with your potential client. There is a strategy out there, I did not invent it, but I have definitely taken it and use it in my own business. I wrote about it in my book ACT On Your Business, and that approach is called the KLT, or the “know, like, trust” approach. So I want you to think about “know, like, trust” as the three phases of building a relationship. So stage one, that's the “getting to know you stage,” right? That's the know stage. It's where we're initially introduced to someone. We're just kind of establishing what this relationship looks like, and so when you meet someone new for the first time, what do you do? Well, you get to know them. You ask them questions, you find commonalities, and you take time and really invest in getting to know them as a person. I also think in the business setting, we can do this, we can connect with our people, we can take time to really understand where they're coming from, the concerns or challenges they're facing, the hopes they have for their business, for their life. We can connect with them on that level, and then we also have the unique opportunity to provide value to them from the very start. So just as they're getting to know us, they're getting to know us also in terms of what we can provide for them. This is one reason why email opt-ins are the linchpin of so many online businesses. Because an email opt-in is a great way to serve someone from the get-go while building that relationship. I'm going to talk a little bit more about that when I use my own business as an example, but I want you to think about during that phase one or stage one of building the relationship, it's all about getting to know each other. And for you, as a coach, it's about providing something of value from the very beginning.

So once we've moved out of stage one, and okay, we know each other, we're starting to build this relationship, then we move into stage two, which is where you build affinity. This is the “like” portion of KLT. And so this is where we want to cultivate a relationship where our clients like us, where when they think of us, they think of us in a positive way. They view us as an expert, they view us as a guide. They see us as someone approachable and that maybe they would want to work with. So there's a few ways that we can do that in a business setting. I think one of the best ways to build affinity with your clients is to share your true self with them. This is where appropriate use of authenticity and vulnerability can be really helpful. And how do we do that? Well, we do that by sharing our stories. We can do that through blog posts, through podcast episodes, through Facebook Lives. But there are all sorts of ways where we can connect with our people in a genuine way, let them in behind the scenes, let them see a little bit about what it's like to live in our worlds, to run our business, and then let's also invite them to share their stories with us. That's so important with any relationship, we want it to be reciprocal. It can't be us, give, give, giving or take, take, taking all the time. It needs to be a back and forth. And so as we are building affinity with our clients, we can also do that by asking them to share their stories with us. That deepens the connection, it fosters that sense of goodwill, and it's one of the best ways to build affinity to build that “like” factor within a relationship. Once you've done that, then we can move into stage three, which is where we go deeper. And this is where we build “trust” in a relationship. So I want you to think about the relationships in your life where you feel like there is a really high level of trust. How did you build that trust over time? Or how did the other person build trust in you? When I was thinking about that, when I was thinking about the relationship with my husband, or with my best friend or with my parents, there were a few things that stood out to me. First, each one of those people is a consistent presence in my life. They are always there, and they show up for me no matter what. I know that I can depend on them, and I know that their word is their bond. And I'm pretty sure they feel the same way about me. So being a consistent regular presence, following through on what I say I'll do or what they'll say they'll do, keeping our word, these are really important ways that we build trust, and we demonstrate this through our actions.

So this is a very interesting thing to apply in a business setting as well. How can you be consistent, keep your word, be present, and build trust within a business relationship? Well, we can certainly do that one-on-one with individuals. We can do that through conversations. It can be conversations on the phone or video, it can even be through private messages or emails. But again, it evolves over time and we can do so by showing up, giving the other person our full attention, reflecting back that they're heard, that we see them, and just showing up. So, in a business relationship, we can cultivate that sense of trust by following through on our actions, taking care of our people, continuing to show up for them. This is also an area where having your past clients speak for you can build trust. This is why so many businesses use testimonials in order to build that trust factor with their potential clients. And this is something that we can do as coaches. Now I recognize that for my mental health professionals out there, testimonials are a bit taboo. Most state licensing boards would not look too kindly on you providing testimonials from therapy clients. But in a coaching setting, we have more flexibility here, and it's appropriate and even beneficial to incorporate client testimonials. When I'm asking my clients for testimonials, it's typically at the end of our work together, and it's a great opportunity for them to synthesize everything that they've accomplished in our work together. So yes, they're providing me with the testimonial, but the way that I structure the process actually works like a life review for them, so that they can see just how far they've come and everything they've accomplished by working with me. So again, even the process of creating a testimonial can benefit the client and be a win-win. But testimonials, case studies, these are great ways that we can cultivate trust with a prospective client. And that's, again, it just builds into that “know, like and trust” factor. So KLT. I want you to be thinking about KLT when it comes to cultivating relationships with potential clients. So the first is how can I get to know them? And how can they get to know me? The second is how can we build affinity in the relationship so that we like each other? And then finally, how can we build trust in each other so that my client will want to work with me and I'll want to work with them. Again, it's reciprocal, it goes both ways. But I can tell you that if you do not have all three present, know, like and trust, then you will not have the ideal sales outcome that you are looking for. All three of those are necessary in building a really solid relationship with a prospective client that leads them into working with you in a paid capacity.

So bringing this KLT process into it means that there will be a time investment there. And that's one thing that I think the sleazy marketing strategies that I talked about before doesn't fully address. Because the sleazy marketer, they want to get in and get out, they want your sale now. Actually, they want your sale like yesterday, and so they're not necessarily willing to invest the time in the relationship. And so that's why I want to encourage you as you are connecting with potential clients, slow down, take your time, it will allow you to build such a strong foundation that will serve you and the client in the long run.

And this is why I recommend cultivating the relationship before you pitch your services to someone. A lot of times people will be like, “Yeah, I'm interested in a coach, how much do you charge?” And that's where it's like, “Whoa, let's kind of slow down here. Let's first talk about what coaching is and why you're interested in coaching and if we'd even be a good fit for each other. Then, I'm happy to talk to you more about the process and what it looks like and the financial investment. We can even take some time and actually coach together to see if this is something we're both interested in.” But you can take this process and you can use it for your individual coaching as well, so that your client feels supported and served by you from the very beginning. So in summary, sleazy marketing, sleazy sales, sleazy promotion, puts the spotlight on the seller, and the buyer is kind of an easy mark, it's a target, and it does not feel good. And for me, it doesn't feel good as the buyer, but I don't think it would feel good as the seller as well. That's so out of alignment with how I want to operate in my business and I know that because you're listening to this podcast, it's out of alignment for you too. Whereas service-based sales, which is everything that we've talked about today, service-based sales keeps the spotlight on the client, and so energetically, it feels good. The client feels good. The coach feels good. We can move forward together, knowing that it is a reciprocal relationship built on mutual trust. And that feels really, really good.

Hi, friend, you're back with Lee in 2023 and I hope that you enjoyed that second look at how we can connect with our audience and promote our services. So as promised, I wanted to talk a little bit about what I might have done differently, or what I would have emphasized more had I recorded that episode today. And I'll tell you, I still really appreciate the content that I included in that episode. And I think the three phases I walked you through are more relevant now than ever before. You'll notice I started the episode with a discussion of mindset, essentially, and why so many of us get hung up around sales, and how we confuse being salesy with being sleazy. And so for the first several minutes of the episode, we really explored that and why I believe coaches actually need to be more salesy. We need to be talking more about what we offer and how we support our clients, and that there's a way to do that without resorting to unethical or compromising marketing and sales practices. If I were to record that episode today, I probably would have gone even deeper into the mindset issue, I would have looked more closely at why many of us have, if not a full on fear, at least an aversion to selling or to being seen as salesy. And I think there's a lot in there to unpack. I think many of us grew up with this idea that it wasn't okay to ask for what we wanted, that it was somehow unseemly or I know for me, maybe it's unladylike to say, “This is who I am, this is what I offered, this is what it's worth, it's amazing do you want in?” It feels very bold to say that, and I know for me, I had to unpack a lot of my own insecurities, and a lot of my own fears around how other people would view me. If I were forthright about my coaching services, and asking people if they wanted to work with me as a private coaching client. Honestly, even now, in 2023, I still have to unpack some of that. And so that's why I think maybe I would have really taken that idea of salesy versus sleazy even further and ask questions like, “Why are we afraid to sell? What are we concerned that it will say about us? Are there particular people that whether real life or imagined that we are concerned may hold us in lower regard, if we actively sell what we do?” And I probably would have done a little more work around how we can unpack some of those limiting beliefs, and the types of beliefs we might want to replace them with.

So again, maybe that's an episode for 2024, I'm definitely making a note of it, because I probably would have spent more time in that area today than I did in 2020. The other thing that I would do differently today is before going into the different phases, I think I would have talked a little more about how to get in front of your audience to begin with. Now, we did talk about that in the episode on finding your ideal clients, which if you missed that one, just head back one episode in the Coach with Clarity feed, and you'll find it because we did talk a little bit about that in that episode. But I think I could have spent a little more time in this episode, exploring how to find your audience, how to get in front of it, how to leverage other people's audiences in order to grow your visibility and your credibility. And I think those are some things that can happen, maybe before or even alongside phase one. So again, if I were to re-record that episode today, I probably would have explored that a little more, though, I will say that I did an entire episode on Visibility Strategies to Grow Your Coaching Business, and you can find that it's episode 47. So you can search for episode 47 in your podcast feed, or you can go to coachwithclarity.com/ 47 to find the episode itself, as well as show notes and a full transcript. But that episode certainly has a lot of great ideas about how to increase your visibility and so I hope that you find it helpful.

Honestly, my friend, I hope that you find all of the episodes of the Coach with Clarity podcast helpful and if there are any topics you would like me to explore on a future show, by all means, let me know you can DM me on Instagram, Facebook or Threads. I'm @CoachWithClarity or send me an email, the address is info@coachwithclarity.com and let me know what you are facing in your coaching practice that you could use some support around and just maybe I'll be able to craft a podcast episode that speaks to those concerns and provides you with some ideas and maybe even some possible solutions. So feel free to reach out at any time. And I hope you will join me next week for another episode of the Coach with Clarity podcast. We'll be continuing our Back to Basics series, but I'm skipping ahead a little bit. I am going to replay episode 97, which is called Book that Client! How to Conduct an Amazing Consult Call. And I have to admit, when I look back at the now over 170 episodes that we've created for the Coach with Clarity Podcast, episode 97, I think maybe one of the most value packed episodes I published. I walk you through step by step exactly how to conduct a consult call. So if you feel at all nervous or uncertain about how to have that conversation, you are not going to want to miss this episode. So the best thing you can do is be sure you are following or subscribe to the Coach with Clarity podcast, it's absolutely free to do so just click the button in whatever podcast player you use to follow or subscribe. And then future episodes of the show will automatically show up in your feed. They will be there ready and waiting for you to listen. And so this next episode about how to conduct an amazing consult call, it'll be in your feed in two weeks. And of course I will be talking about what I might have done a little differently where I to record that episode today. But I'll tell you, I have listened to it again and it really holds up so you are not going to want to miss that episode. I can't wait to see you back here in two weeks. And until then, my name is Lee Chaix McDonough reminding you to get out there and show the world what it means to be a Coach with Clarity.