160: The Art of Coaching: Embodying a Coaching Mindset
Mindset is much more than limiting beliefs; it's about how we relate to our internal experiences. Taking it a level deeper, a coaching mindset is about how we externalize our internal responses and how they inform our behavior as coaches.
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Show Notes
Mindset is much more than limiting beliefs; it’s about how we relate to our internal experiences. Taking it a level deeper, a coaching mindset is about how we externalize our internal responses and how they inform our behavior as coaches.
As we continue our series on the Art of Coaching, each week builds on the last, and we develop a fuller picture of what it takes to become a masterful coach. This week we’re exploring what it means to embody a coaching mindset.
Embodying a coaching mindset is one of the ICF’s core competencies, which every ICF coach must practice actively. When we have a well-developed coaching mindset, we deeply understand that our role is to support and facilitate learning and growth in our clients. In this episode, I’m sharing why a coaching mindset is critical and how we can work on developing mastery in this area. Enjoy the episode!
Topics covered
- How the Certified Clarity Coach Program can support you as both a coach and a business owner
- Defining mindset and what it means to embody a coaching mindset
- Why a well-developed coaching mindset is critical
- Recognizing that we may have different roles in our coaching businesses
- Creating opportunities for clients to make their own choices
- The role of emotional regulation for coaches
- Continuous development of our coaching skills
Resources mentioned
- Learn more and apply to be a Certified Clarity Coach
- Coach with Clarity
- Coach with Clarity Collective
- Connect with Me on Instagram
- Connect with Me on TikTok
- Email Me: info@coachwithclarity.com
Now it’s time for you to show the world what it means to be a Coach with Clarity! Screenshot this episode and tag me on Instagram @coachwithclarity and let me know what you’re more excited to explore in future podcast episodes!
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TRANSCRIPT
Well, hello, my friends. Welcome to the Coach with Clarity podcast. My name is Lee Chaix McDonough. I'm your host, and we are continuing our series about The Art of Coaching, and this week we are exploring what it means to embody a coaching mindset. I'm really excited to talk about this topic this week because it's building on what we've already been covering as part of this series, this deep dive into The Art of Coaching. So if this is the first time you are listening to The Coach with Clarity podcast well, first off, welcome. I'm so glad you're here and you are in the right place. You do not have to have listened to the previous two episodes in this series in order to receive something from today's episode. But of course, I'm going to strongly suggest that at some point you go back in your feed and you add episodes 158 and 159 to your feed. Because in those episodes we talk about developing your coaching presence and we talk about next level listening, both of which are relevant to our discussion today around embodying a coaching mindset. So be sure to take a listen to those episodes if you haven't already. And for those of you who have been listening, I want to thank you so much for tuning in this week. I have so enjoyed receiving your emails and your DMs all about what you've learned from this series. We are really tapping into something here, and so I'm excited to continue our conversation today and really focus on embodying a coaching mindset.
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Now, some of you may be aware that embodying a coaching mindset is one of the core competencies in the International Coaching Federation, or ICF. ICF has eight core competencies that they expect all coaches to not only be familiar with, but to actively practice and to work towards mastery of. And so we'll be covering those core competencies throughout this Art of Coaching series. These core competencies are also the backbone of the Certified Clarity Coach Program, which is an ICF accredited level one training program. Which means that when you successfully complete the Certified Clarity Coach Program, you are on track towards obtaining your Associate Certified Coach credential through ICF. So once you graduate from the program and fulfill all the requirements, you then need 100 hours of coaching experience outside the training program, and you can apply for your ACC Credential. As part of your application, you will then complete ICF's written exam, and once you have successfully passed that, you will be awarded the ACC, the Associate Certified Coach Credential. But it all starts with completing an ICF accredited training program, and I'm so proud to share that that is exactly what the Certified Clarity Coach program is. So inside the Certified Clarity Coach Program, you will receive everything you need to start building out your mastery as a coach.
We spend the entire first module, so about six weeks focusing on coaching fundamentals and the skills you need to have in place in order to effectively serve your clients and ethically serve your clients.
Once we have those foundational pillars in place, we then move into module two, where we are exploring an ACT informed approach to coaching. So longtime listeners know I am a huge proponent of ACT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It's the modality I was trained in when I was practicing as a therapist, and it's also the backbone of my book, ACT on Your Business. One of the things I love most about ACT is that its principles are universally applicable. So while they are incredibly powerful in a therapeutic setting, they also work beautifully in a coaching context. And so that is what we will spend several weeks exploring inside the Certified Clarity Coach Program: how to take ACT principles, namely the three M's, meaning, mindset, and mindfulness, and effectively utilize them as coaches in order to help our clients have an exceptional coaching experience while also making significant progress towards their goals. We wrap up the Certified Clarity Coach program with a deep dive into what it takes to build a successful coaching business. Because most of us who are coaches have our own businesses. Now some of us are employed by outside agencies, but the vast majority of us are in business for ourselves. And so I want to make sure that not only are you equipped with a strong coaching approach that you can use with clients, I want you to also have a strong business structure to support you as you grow, as you serve, and as you step into your power as a coach. So I've designed the Certified Clarity Coach program to support your growth as both a coach and as a business owner. And we do this through a 60 hours program that includes instruction, practice, peer coaching, mentor coaching. It's really a wraparound support approach to helping you become the best coach you can be. I have been accepting applications and meeting with future students for the last couple of weeks, and I am so excited about how this next cohort is shaping up. We get started on May 31st, but I strongly encourage you, if you are thinking about taking part in the Certified Clarity Coach program, do not wait to apply.
There's a couple of reasons for that. Number one, there are only 15 spaces available in this cohort, and those spaces are already filling. So I would hate for you to delay on applying and then miss out because the cohort has filled and my very first cohort of this program sold out. So I am expecting this one too as well. So that's one reason to act now, but the other one is a special offer that I am making for people who apply, enroll and submit their deposit by April 30th. So if you are able to secure your space in the cohort by the end of the month, you will also receive a bonus VIP day of Voxer coaching with me, and you can use that day of Voxer coaching at any point up to 18 months after the program begins. I love Voxer as a way of supporting my coaching clients. Oftentimes I use it between sessions, but I also find that Voxer coaching in and of itself can be a really powerful way to serve my clients. And so when you enroll in the Certified Clarity Coach program by the end of April, you and I will get to spend an entire day together on Voxer really devoted to your coaching practice. And so that might include discussing coaching skills and how you can utilize them in your practice. If there's any sort of case consultation you want to do, we can certainly do that in a Voxer day of coaching. Or perhaps you want more support around the business of coaching. Maybe you'd like to talk about a marketing plan or how to attract more ideal clients to your business. That's absolutely something we can explore in a Voxer day of coaching. So I've added this bonus especially for those of you who are ready to take action and enroll in the Certified Clarity Coach Program during the month of April.
So, again, we get started. Our first class is on May 31st. The application window will close before then, and the bonus VIP Day of Voxer coaching goes away after April 30th, so be sure to get your application in now. If you go to coachwithclarity.com/certification, you will find all of the information you need to know about the program and a link to apply. Now, I want to stress that just because you apply doesn't mean you're committing to the program. And in fact, after you apply, you and I will schedule a time to chat on Zoom, and we'll explore whether this program is the right fit for you and if now is the right time. That's really my number one priority. I want to be here to support you, and I want to make sure the timing is right and that this program is right.
So we'll have an opportunity to discuss that. You can ask any questions you have about the program. It's only after that call that together we'll decide whether enrolling in the Certified Clarity Coach program is the right next step for you. But before we have that conversation, you have to apply. So please head to coachwithclarity.com/certification, click the Apply Now button, and then we'll get something on the calendar. On that page you'll also find at the bottom a really helpful FAQ section. So I suspect if you've got questions about the certification program, you will likely find answers in that FAQ. But if for some reason you don't, please feel free to reach out. You can reach me via email at info@coachwithclarity.com, or you can send me a private message on social media, I’m @CoachWithClarity on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. I want to make sure that you have all of the information you need to make an informed decision. And that's also something we'll do in that post application call. So don't delay. Head to coachwithclarity.com/certification. Click the Apply Now button and I cannot wait to have a conversation with you about whether the best next step for you is to become a Certified Clarity Coach.
All right, my friends, let's go ahead and dive into what it means to embody a coaching mindset. And to start with, I think there are a few things we need to define. And the first concept I want to clarify is that of mindset. Now, we have talked a lot about mindset on the Coach with Clarity podcast. In fact, I believe it's Episode 79 where I do a really thorough look at what mindset is and what it's not and why it's more than just limiting beliefs, which is what a lot of people think of when they hear mindset. And I would say limiting beliefs are certainly part of mindset, but I take a broader approach. And the way I define mindset is how we relate to our internal experiences. And so when I'm talking about internal experiences, I am talking about thoughts, certainly cognitions are part of that. I'm also talking about emotions, memories, sensations, all of the experiences that we have privately or internally that other people might not be aware we're having unless we choose to share that with them. So for me, mindset is all about how we relate to those internal experiences. So when we're talking about a coaching mindset, I think we can still take this idea of mindset being how we relate to our internal experiences. But because we're looking at mindset through the lens of coaching, now we're looking at how we externalize those internal responses and how they inform our behavior as coaches.
So ICF would define embodying a coaching mindset as developing and maintaining a mindset that is open, curious, flexible and client centered. So I would suggest that as we are building our own mindset, we are approaching our own internal experiences with that openness, the curiosity, and the flexibility that ICF cites in their definition. We're extending that inwardly to ourselves, and then we are also extending that outwardly to our clients. And so when we are engaged in the coaching relationship, we are centering the client's experience. So it's their goals, their agenda, their desires that are paramount. And we're approaching this from that place of openness, curiosity and flexibility. And we do that because really, the ultimate goal of coaching is to support our clients in their growth and development so that they are able to achieve their goals with greater ease, greater efficiency, maybe in a shorter period of time. And so bringing in that nonjudgmental perspective, that curiosity and that supportive attitude, is critical to helping our clients understanding their own internal responses, developing their own mindset, and helping them reach their fullest potential. When we have a well developed coaching mindset, I would suggest that this is where coaches really understand their role, which is to support and even facilitate learning and growth in their clients. And we do that through asking powerful questions, through reflection, through active listening, many of the things that we've talked about on the previous two episodes. And we opt to engage with our clients in that way, rather than offering advice, passing judgment, or telling our clients what they should or should not do or how they should take action towards their goals. This is one way that coaching is a little different than other helping professions like mentoring or consulting. Oftentimes, when I'm in the role of mentor or consultant, my feedback is more directive. I am more inclined to share my thoughts, my ideas, my opinions, and maybe even offer advice with the client's consent, because that is appropriate for a mentor or a consultant. And truthfully, in my own business, I find I wear multiple hats. And sometimes it is the mentor hat or the consultant hat that I'm wearing. But when I am wearing my coaching hat, it is an entirely different approach to how I engage with my clients. My goal is not to tell my clients what to do or to start with my own experience as the leading factor that they should consider. Instead, as a coach, I'm first seeking to make sure I understand not just what the client wants, but why they want it, why it matters to them. I want to explore what they've already tried before in the service of this goal, and then I want to collaborate with them. And again, this comes back to coaching being a true partnership. So when we can collaborate together, then there's an opportunity for both of us to work together, but to really let the client take the lead on coming up with possible solutions. And for me, that is at the heart of embodying a coaching mindset.
One of the things I've learned in my decades as a therapist and then as a coach is that clients tend to have better outcomes when the solution they implement is one of their own creation. When clients have an “Aha” moment or an insight, and then they're able to translate that insight into action through a solution or a strategy that they've come up with, they have a greater sense of ownership and even pride in that solution. And they're far more likely to initiate action and remain consistent with that action when they are the ones that are responsible for creating it. Now, that doesn't mean the coach can't offer feedback. In fact, we should. That is something that we do in coaching, but we offer feedback in such a way that honors the client's experience and allows them to take the lead. Part of embodying a coaching mindset, at least according to ICF, is that we acknowledge that clients are responsible for their own choices. And so we need to create opportunities for clients to make their own choices so that they don't feel beholden to us or like they have to take action on our suggestion. Quite the opposite, we want to create a relationship that is built on mutual trust and respect. And we'll be talking about that in a future episode in this series as well. But when we have that basis of trust and respect, the client knows that this is a space in which they can explore and be creative and try new things and request our feedback when appropriate. And we're going to be behind them every step of the way to help them make the most of their experience. Now, here's the thing. We coaches, we are still human beings. And as a human being, I have an ego. And so it's totally normal that sometimes I might come up with a great idea that I think would be perfect for a client. Maybe I even have their permission to share it with them, so I do. And then for whatever reason, they decide not to go with my idea or not to take action on it. And that is okay. That is the client's right. And as coaches, we need to understand and respect that. But it also means that we need to acknowledge the effects that might have on our own ego. And so having an ongoing reflective practice where we're able to notice our own internal responses to our clients' decision, that's all part of embodying a coaching mindset. So it's not that we can't have those feelings or thoughts, it's not that we completely check our ego at the door because I'm not sure that's really possible. But it does mean that we have the self awareness to acknowledge when we're having a response to our client's decision. And then internally we can assess, “Is this about the client or is this about me? Maybe I might have some work I need to do on my own outside of this session.” And that's part of the self awareness practice. It's very much connected to developing a coaching presence, which we talked about at the beginning of this series. So hopefully you're seeing how all of these concepts weave together in order to create masterful coaching.
This also requires a high level of emotional regulation on the part of the coach. So again, as coaches, it's not that we can't have feelings or emotions. We are going to have emotional responses to things and those emotions in and of themselves are valid. But as the coach, it is not necessarily appropriate to share those emotions with our clients in real time. Because in doing so, we run the risk then of centering ourselves in the session rather than centering the client. So we need to be able to regulate our own emotions during session so that we acknowledge them, but we're able to continue to connect with the client and serve their agenda alongside our emotional experience. And then after the session, that's the time where we can process our own emotions, where we engage in a self reflective process. Or maybe we seek consultation and support from someone else, a coach, a mentor coach, a colleague. But we're doing our own work outside of the client session as part of our own reflective process. And that is, again, very much in keeping with embodying a coaching mindset.
Oftentimes as coaches, the clients we work with are in some way an earlier version of ourselves. Now, that's not always the case, but oftentimes I find that when we're describing our ideal clients, those clients share a lot of the same values and goals and experiences that we have. And so we may be a little further in the journey than our clients are, but we can really identify with what they're experiencing and where they're at in their lives. As a result, it can be really easy to personalize that experience. And I've had that happen to me multiple times in sessions, where I'll be working with my clients and they'll be sharing a situation with me or a goal that they want to work towards and I immediately connect with it because I've had that shared experience. And so as a result, it's really easy to make the unconscious assumption that what the client is thinking or feeling or experiencing mirrors what we thought or felt or experienced when we were going through it. And I think that's a natural human response and it can also be a very helpful response because it allows us to seek connection with clients based on that shared experience. But the thing is, we are different people and so we have to remember that even though we have similar experiences, similar values, what will work best for the client may be different than what worked best for us. And the approach that the client wants to take, or needs to take because of their situation may be different than what we ourselves experienced. So cultivating that understanding is critical to embodying a coaching mindset because then we are able to hold our own experience and see it as important and allow it to inform our coaching without it dictating our coaching.
We still want to create space for the client to really step into their experience and come up with solutions that will work for them. We can offer our perspective and our experiences with their consent, but even still we have to understand if they decide to go a different path, it's not a judgment about us, it's not a reflection of what they think of us or our decisions. It's merely the client's process of figuring out what is going to work best for them. And as coaches, at the end of the day, that is what we are here to support. So having that ego driven response when a client decides not to take our advice or our feedback is understandable. And we need to do our own work on that outside of session while still respecting our clients autonomy and the fact that they always retain the power of choice in the coaching relationship. So I might suggest that it is that fear of being rejected. And if fear is too strong, maybe it's simply a desire to avoid rejection that sometimes comes up for coaches and it can be an obstacle to embodying a true coaching mindset.
And so, again, this is why self awareness is always going to be the starting point. Because when we are aware of this and when we know our tendencies, we can respond compassionately. And we can see it as merely something where we need to do a little more work and a little more exploration. And we can do that through consultation, through mentor coaching, and I would say through additional training around how we can develop our coaching skills. And that's why we spend so much time inside the Certified Clarity Coach program, really looking at mindset, and specifically the coaching mindset.
Well, my friend, we have covered a lot in today's episode. We have talked about not just what mindset is, but what a coaching mindset is, and how we as coaches can continue to develop our own mindset so that we can fully embody it in practice with our clients, and I would say just in our lives in general. I really believe that coaching is more than an approach, it's more than a perspective or a philosophy, it really is a way of being. And I have certainly found in my own personal journey as a coach that as I continue to work towards a mastery of these coaching core competencies and of these coaching skills, not only am I becoming a better coach for my clients, but I feel like I'm becoming a better person. I'm better able to relate to myself and others and to build healthy relationships. And so that's why when you invest in your training and education as a coach, it's not merely to grow your business or to serve your clients better. It's also about becoming the truest version of yourself. I know that authenticity and integrity are becoming buzzwords. I get it. And yet I really do believe that investing in your education as a coach allows you to show up more authentically and gives you a way of deeply connecting with your true self. The process of becoming a powerful coach requires a lot of inner work and it can be challenging, and yet it's also so rewarding. And I will say that now, approaching the age of 44, I have never felt more like myself than ever before in my life. And quite honestly, I've never liked myself as much as I have right now in this moment. And I credit that to being a part of the coaching profession and of regularly engaging in powerful coaching, in education and training around coaching. It has just completely changed my life, to be quite honest. And I suspect if you are listening to this podcast, you probably feel the same way. And if you would like to deepen that experience, then I strongly urge you to consider the Certified Clarity Coach program and to check it out at coachwithclarity.com/certification.
Alright, my friend. That's it for this week's episode of the Coach with Clarity podcast. Next week, we will be continuing our deep dive into The Art of Coaching. And we will be looking at how we as coaches create and maintain relationships anchored in trust and respect. Because, again, the cornerstone of any coaching experience is the relationship between coach and client. So we will be diving into that next week. I hope you will join me. And to make sure you don't miss that episode and all future episodes of the Coach with Clarity podcast, take a moment to subscribe if you haven't already. It should be really easy to do. Wherever you are listening to this show, there should be an option to follow or subscribe. Maybe it's a little plus sign. Just hit that button, and then future episodes of the Coach with Clarity podcast will automatically show up in your feed. And we have new episodes every Monday, so I look forward to connecting with you then. And until then, my name is Lee Chaix McDonough, reminding you to get out there and show the world what it means to be a Coach with Clarity.